You've Been Assigned!

On the 4th of July, my husband, Kermit and I decided to travel to East Texas to see my mom and be with family — and it was beautiful.

We played games, told stories, danced to old-school jams, and shared space in the way only family can. One of my favorite moments was using a deck of “story starter” cards that sparked laughter, unexpected memories, and heartfelt conversations.

Yesterday morning, my mom, her sister (my aunt), and my sister woke up early to have coffee and sit outside underneath my mom’s carport. It was such a peaceful time as a cool gentle breeze met us with a "good morning." My mom asked if I would get the story starter cards again — which had been a huge hit on the 4th — and of course, I obliged and we continued to share stories over coffee.

But that morning, the story starters did something different. They stirred something beneath the surface.

As we laughed and reminisced about my mom and her sister's childhood growing up in Uncertain, Texas, something shifted. I noticed how many of the stories had the same rhythm — the same emotional weight, the same unspoken expectations.

That’s when I started to hear it: the cycle.

Patterns.

Repetition.

Stories that had been playing out in our family for generations — without ever being named.

I realized I wasn’t just hearing their memories. I was hearing reflections of my own life.

• The silence.

• The self-sacrifice.

• The way love was wrapped in service but rarely spoken aloud.

• The unaddressed pain.

• The strength that covered up sadness.

And it made me stop and ask:

How could something I didn’t choose be showing up so clearly in me?

Why Do Cycles Repeat?

It’s a question I’ve asked God many times. And the answer has become clearer:

What isn’t healed gets handed down.

What’s not talked about becomes normalized.

What’s been survived becomes standard.

We inherit more than our family’s features — we inherit their fears, their beliefs, their silence, and their coping mechanisms.

Not because they meant to give them to us — but because they had nowhere else to put them.

And unless someone becomes aware, the cycle just keeps going.

As I looked across the table at my mom and my aunt — the same women who once raised me, protected me, fed me, and kept me safe — I realized something sacred:

I was now their caregiver.

Here I was this weekend, driving them around.

Making sure their needs were met — not just physically, but spiritually.

And in doing so, I realized I wasn’t just tending to their present — I was holding the weight of their past.

• The unspoken grief.

• The unresolved tension.

• The stories too painful to say out loud.

It was heavy. And it was holy.

Because in this moment, I understood something deeper:

This is part of my assignment.

To honor the love that raised me… while still questioning the patterns that shaped me. To serve with compassion, but not fall back into silence. To break cycles — not out of blame, but out of love.

What Is God Trusting You to Do?

That question keeps coming up for me — and now, I offer it to you:

What is God trusting you to do in your family line?

• To speak what others silenced?

• To heal what others ignored?

• To forgive what others couldn’t?

• To release what was never yours to carry?

You may feel like the different one. The emotional one. The truth-teller. The one who always sees what no one else wants to talk about.

But hear me when I say:

You’re not broken. You’ve been assigned.

Assigned to be aware.

Assigned to be bold.

Assigned to be the one who breaks the cycle — gently, honestly, and faithfully.

You don’t owe anyone your silence.

You owe your legacy your truth.

So, keep listening.

Keep noticing.

Keep showing up differently.

Because you’re not broken.

You’ve been assigned.

With something to think about. Make it a great week, the choice is always yours.

Niki Spears

www.nikispears.com