Day 8 of the 12 Days of Hand Hugs: Regulating the Room

By Niki Spears

Since moving to New Hampshire, one of the first things I’ve noticed is the weather. Snow one day. Rain the next. Sunshine just when you think winter has settled in.

The weather is constantly changing — and when it does, we don’t take it personally. We adjust. We grab a coat. We slow down. We prepare differently. And lately, that’s had me thinking about energy.

People don’t notice temperature when it’s right —they only notice when it’s too cold

or too hot.

👉 That’s energy.

What Adults Do in The Hand Hug

When people read The Hand Hug, it’s easy to focus on the child — the worry bubbles, the fear, the calming moment. But what’s most powerful in the story isn’t just what the child learns.

It’s what the adults do.

They don’t try to regulate the child.They regulate the room.

They slow their pace.They soften their tone.They create emotional safety.

And because the room is regulated, the child can settle.

That’s a lesson that goes far beyond a children’s book.

The Energy We Bring Matters

As adults — as parents, educators, leaders, partners — we often focus on changing behavior, solving problems, or helping others “feel better.”

But sometimes the most impactful thing we can do is pause and ask ourselves:

• What temperature am I bringing into this space?

• Is my energy calm or rushed?

• Is it tense or steady?

• Does this room feel safe?

Because energy is contagious.And just like temperature, people feel it before they can name it.

Day 8 Hand Hug Challenge (For Adults)

Today’s Hand Hug is simple, but profound:

👉 Pause and regulate yourself first.

Slow your breath.Lower your shoulders.Soften your voice.

Not to be perfect — but to be present.

Sometimes the greatest Hand Hug we can offer isn’t something we do with our hands.It’s the energy we choose to bring into the room.

Thank you for walking through the 12 Days of Hand Hugs with me.Tomorrow, we’ll continue exploring how small shifts create meaningful change.

Until then…be gentle, be aware, and regulate the room. 💛