Dealing with Student Behavior? Read This.

Over the past several months, I’ve been working closely with schools on the inner work, looking at individual beliefs and behavior patterns to determine how these systems impact teaching and learning. And what I've found in these session is : student behavior isn’t just challenging teachers academically or logistically — it’s challenging them emotionally.

Many educators describe today’s behaviors as more intense, more unpredictable, and more personal than ever. And when you’re not sure how to respond, that uncertainty begins to chip away at

your confidence,

your patience,

and even your sense of purpose.

When I think back to my early training as a teacher, I realize that while we studied curriculum, instruction, assessment, and classroom management, very few of us were prepared for the emotional side of behavior. No one talked about how to hold space for a child who is falling apart right in front of you. No one taught us about the nervous system, trauma responses, or how to stay grounded when your own heart is racing. Even as a principal, I found myself defaulting to calling parents, not because it solved the problem, but because I didn’t know what else to do — and we tried not to reinforce the message that “if you act up, you get picked up.”

It wasn’t until years later that I learned something I never understood at the time: when a child acted out, I took it personally. Not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t understand my own story. Most of us don’t realize it in the moment, but

the ways we respond to behavior are deeply influenced by roles we learned long before we stepped into a classroom.

Maybe you were the fixer. The responsible one. The peacemaker. The child who held everything together. Those patterns didn’t disappear when we became adults — they just became quieter, and they show up in the middle of student behavior in ways we don’t always recognize.

When I finally began looking at my own patterns, things started to shift. I realized that there were moments when I wasn’t actually reacting to the child in front of me — I was reacting to a younger version of myself who still needed something. That awareness softened me. It helped me separate my story from the students in my care so I could see the child again, not the challenge or the pressure I felt others were placing on me. And once that happened, I began to respond from a more grounded place instead of reacting out of fear, frustration, or urgency.

One tool that supported this shift was the SAMA Verbal Assisting Process, something I learned early in my career. It’s simple, but incredibly powerful for both adults and students, especially in moments when emotions rise quickly. The process starts with something subtle but transformative: naming what you see, not what you assume.

Instead of saying, “

You’re being disrespectful,” which immediately puts a child on the defensive, you might say, “I see you’re kicking the chair… are you angry?”

This keeps the moment open. It gives the child room to correct you, clarify what they’re feeling, or simply breathe. From there, the script leads into reflective questions and gentle problem-solving — but without the adult taking over or escalating the moment.

What I appreciate most about this technique is how it slows everything down. It helps the adult stay grounded while giving the child language to express what’s really happening. And when we stop personalizing behavior, we finally create enough emotional space to understand it.

**I'm sharing a downloadable one-page SAMA script that you can print, post in your classroom, or use as a reference during moments when emotions rise. and if you’re a visual learner, I’ve also included a short video below where I walk through the SAMA Verbal Assisting Process with an audience participant.

These two resources — the video and the script — are just a starting point, but they will give you a solid foundation for responding to behavior with clarity rather than reaction.

Script:

SAMA Verbal Assist.pdf

Download PDF • 364KB

Video:

But here’s what I’ve learned: a script only works when the adult has done the inner work. And adults need space to practice — safely, thoughtfully, and without judgment. That’s why we created something new.

Introducing the Positive Kids & Positive Teen Energy Systems

(K–5 and 6–12)

Educators are telling us they don’t need more theory about behavior.They need a place to practice.They need tools that make sense in the real world, not just on paper.

So we built two immersive, hands-on systems designed to do exactly that:

🌟 Positive Kids Energy System (Grades K–5)

🌟 Positive Teen Energy System (Grades 6–12)

These aren’t lectures.They’re fully interactive, real-life classroom simulations.

In each training, educators have the opportunity to:

• Practice the SAMA Verbal Assisting Process step-by-step

• Work through actual behavior scenarios

• Explore their own triggers and emotional patterns

• Learn how to respond instead of react

• Use tools that regulate energy for both adults and students

• Build confidence through guided, hands-on repetition

Teachers rehearse the same moments they face every day — only now, they’re supported, encouraged, and given space to make mistakes without judgment. It’s grounded. It’s practical. And it changes how educators show up in the moment.

When adults shift how they respond, students shift how they behave.

If Your School Needs Support…

I shared the SAMA method here because it transformed the way I approached student behavior, and it continues to transform classrooms everywhere I go. But the deeper impact happens when teachers learn these tools together, practice them together, and build confidence in a safe, supportive environment.

If your school or district is looking for a practical, hands-on way to support student behavior—and you want tools that honor both the child and the adults who serve them—I’d love to talk about how we can support your team with the Positive Kids or Positive Teen Energy System.

You can contact us at niki@culturecre8ion.com or call 512-709-2681 to start the conversation.

Sometimes one shift in how we respond can change everything.